Fernweh

I have a tendency to struggle to openly share the places of my heart that my mind constantly wanders to.  It is difficult to let people in; sometimes I refuse to let those familiar to me in because the conversation brings insecurity to the thoughts and longings of the heart.  I can easily hide behind my story in words- I can gather my thoughts allowing the light to shine through the cracks without interruption and words of reason.

The candles are burning filling the house with a lovely smell as my beef stew cooks in the crock pot while the snow continues to blanket the town.  The kids are nestled on the couch, finding comfort in the story line of Stuart Little.  Looking around, my life, my family- is all wonderful and there is not a stitch to complain about.  Mr. F continues to send flutters into my stomach and the kids- as always- keep me happily on my toes.  We have acquired friends that have quickly become family. I left Morocco for reasons close to the heart. Incredibly different than those reasons why I left America in the first place- but reason enough to make America my home again.  My family is finally whole again as we spent the past year across the oceans, meeting in foreign places throughout the year, then splitting apart once again.  All in which we knew was temporary in one way or another.  Wrapping my arms around Mr. F and Chad again, feeling their hearts beat with excitement made me feel at home again.  But- you know the saying right? "Home is wherever your heart is set in stone."  It isn't where you lay your head or where you rest your bones.  As long as you are with the ones you love- it doesn't matter where you go.

Still I long for foreign and the strange.  Oddly, I find I am homesick for places I have never been. Living abroad opened up opportunity for travel.  My senses never dulled and I was constantly lost in wonder; watching the world grow larger with every experience.  I gladly offered myself up to the unknown and found that my eyes constantly lifted to the horizon- finding serenity in the constant change of sights and sounds.  It is almost as if you discovered you were born very far away from where you are supposed to be.  Traveling, experiencing and expanding oneself- creating new dreams have brought me closer to home.  

I do not want to take trips or vacations.  Fernweh is an ache for constant travel.  It is to be homesick to places you have never been.  I find that I have this constant ache because my decision to fly last year has left marks on my memory, my heart, my body but most of all on my consciousness.  

So, do you create disaster to expand the palette that paints our lives?  To fill it with richness and continue discover untouched places in my family's hearts?  To allow the journey to unfold while sleeping under unfamiliar stars?  To have no station- just flirt with life forever?  

Of course you do.  Living in comfort isn't what life is about anyway.  We live for the moments we can't put into words.  If this comes at a risk and leaving a little piece of us behind- then we shall pick up those pieces along the way.  Travel is worth any cost or sacrifice.  

The world awaits, so please sweep us away to experiences it's offerings:)

xo

Lex

 

Sports Day!

Today was the Lower School's sports day.  All grade levels from KG0 to Grade 5 were able to participate in the fun and games organized by our PE department.  I was surprised to hear the KG0 was invited to participate and my heart became filled with the "mommy excitement" that I would get to watch Claire "exercise" (as she calls it!).

I took my own students out to begin and kept a very watchful eye on KG0 so I could watch Happy and take pictures of her participation.  She walked out in her line- where they all hold tight onto the friend in front of them.  Then, she spotted me.

Look at those excited faces!

Oh- so sweet!  

Still watching Mommy

As my students moved through the first station, I was completely distracted, watching Happy for her turn in the spoon and bottle cap run.  Finally, it was her turn.  She was so careful with the bottle cap!  I loved watching her concentrate.

Once that rotation was over, KG0 eneded up on the opposite side of the field.  Thank goodness for prescription sunglasses as well as Mr. F's camera with an awesome zoom.  Her class headed over to the Zig-Zag Run.  Watching her run was too cute- touching the cones and running some more.

Happy's final rotation was to the hula hoops.  They jumped into the hula hoops, zig-zag ran through them and then snaked through each hoop.  Oh man!  This one killed me with her cuteness!

Not too sure- itchy eyes, heartbroken, confused? She was able to pull out of it!  

Oh my sweet girls face.

My Grade 1B group of kiddos! 

 I feel utterly blessed that I am able to watch both of my kids grown and learn in front of my eyes. I have been able to sneak out to watch assemblies, attend lunches, wave hello and blow kisses in passing.  I admit, it is going to be hard going back and not having my Happy girl join Chaddy and I at school- but she is one lucky girl to spend her days with her daddy.  She really has two of the BEST options!  We have one and a half more days of student contact, then one and a half days of school closures.  Then, we make our last drive through Marrakech to Casablanca in a van full of bags and friends.  Once we board our plane in Casablanca we will arrive in Frankfurt- continuing to place our foot in different countries of the world.  Frankfurt to San Francisco, then San Fran to HOME!  I can't believe we are almost there; to be greeted and hugged by those we have missed so much.

Love and miss you all at home!

xo

Lex :)

Our Last Weekend

This past weekend marked our last weekend in Marrakech.  This week, we bid farewell to our family and friends here as well as continue to pack up our home.  The walls are just as bare as when we first arrived as I have removed all of the kids artwork to make the 5,000 mile trek across the world.  Our suitcases are packed to the brim with our material lives ready to be unpacked in The States as we settle into our new home.

Today, I had the conversation with Happy about flying on the airplane to America as we gave away her balloon cat to Maia.  However, when we went to "throw away" her pools (things get taken out of the trash- so I knew they would find a home), the guard at our building hollered out at us and asked us for the pools.  We happily handed them over.  Well, I happily handed them over.  The man spoke to me in French that his baby would love them.  I just nodded and replied with "oui, oui."  Claire whined a bit asking me for her swimming pool.  I decided to kneel down and explain to her a bit more seriously.

"Happy, remember mommy told you where we are going?  Do you remember where?"

"Yes.  We are going on a.... airplane."

"Yep.  The pools will not fit in our suitcases when we go on the airplane.  We have a swimming pool in America.  We can play with Daddy and Chaddy in the pool in America.  Ok?  We gave the pools to the man for his baby since we are leaving."

"Ok.  The pool is for his babies to play."

Unfortunately, there is a lot of poverty in Marrakech, so many people here will take ANYTHING they are given and find someone who can use the items.  I am more than happy to pass things on to those who can utilize them.  Claire and I headed to the hanut and on the way back, the guard stopped us again and asked if we had any clothes for his baby.  I told him I would look.  My heartaches knowing I have nothing for his baby as he clearly needs things.  He can't make more than 2000 dirhams a month, literally a fraction of what it costs to survive.  I stopped at Nick and Anna's to relay his message as they have Amelie and possibly some unwanted clothes to pass on.  Helps remind me that in times we can give- give willingly and wholeheartedly.  It fills the heart with joy.

This weekend was filled with more adventures and fun.  I absolutely needed this weekend adventures to spend with my best friends and have time to cherish each one of them.

In Friday night, Romy, Anna, Danielle, Amelie and Claire- we all headed out to a villa that Aisha and Feras had rented for the weekend- Al Maaden.  They rented a Riad for their daughter to have a pool party and sleep over for her last BIG birthday bash in Marrakech.  They are headed back to Libya and Missouri come the end of this month.  The party started Saturday afternoon, so we had a girls night on Friday afternoon to Saturday morning.

After work, we headed out on in a van to Al Maaden and arrived.  Our bodies instantly relaxed seeing the conditions we would get to relish in for the next 24 hours.  A private pool, four bedrooms, terrace, and GRASS! I told Mr. F, if we ever ended back in Morocco at some point in our lives- that this place is where we should land!

That evening, we played and relaxed by the pool until we decided that we should eat and play games.  We weakly surprised Aisha with a baby shower celebration complete with gifts, games and a cake.

We had a wonderful and relaxing time, just enjoying each other's company.  It was a lovely way to spend our last weekend- surrounded by those we love.  I will have a hard time saying goodbye to these ladies- hopefully we will just be saying "see you soon" instead.  It is hard to imagine this expat life of meeting people you love and saying goodbye when you have spent a huge part of your life relating to these women.  We are all in the same boat- learning, open our eyes, love for traveling- the connection feels so strong.  Yet, in the end, we all jump on our separate airplane and resume what we may consider our normal lives.  I hope that these connections that feel embedded so deeply continue to flourish with love and deliberate care.   

Claire and I are feverishly preparing for home.  We are finalizing packing, printing itineraries and scheduling transportation.  We get to see all of you in just a matter of days.  We cannot wait to hug each one of you!

xo

Lex 

The Munckins' Graduations and Assemblies

Oh my, where has the time gone?   The memories of watching these two grow has been overwhelming to think about as I reflect back on the past.  Particularly, this year.  Chad and Claire both grew immensely in Morocco- developing knowledge, cultural understanding and opening their hearts to new things.  They both grew in confidence and abilities.  I am a proud Mom.  I cannot believe how lucky Mr. F and I are to have these two!

Claire had an end of the year assembly last week.  The Lower School KG classes gathered in the assembly hall to listen to the two year olds to five year olds sing and celebrate their learning growth.  Claire joined her KG0 class in singing the Eensy Weensy Spider and You are my Sunshine.  She was ADORABLE.  After each song, Claire decided to clap for herself and her friends for a job well done.  I love that smile and pure Happy!

Chad graduated from kindergarten this year.  Is he not cute as a button?  He was proud and overwhelmed by the whole performance. I was able to Skype in because of Mr. F and Nonnie and Mr. F wandered about the gymnasium taking pictures of the ceremony to add to our collection of memories. 

 

 

Last week, Claire has a preschool graduation from KG0.  Parents were invited to a picnic lunch to celebrate the achievements of our children this year.  Claire has grown so much.  We have watched her arrive to Morocco with minimal words to communicate- still our one year old girl.  Happy turned two, speaks in complex sentences and has even picked up some French along the way. 

 

We could be more proud of these two and the amazing munchkins they are turning out to be!  Cheers to many more years of learning, celebrations and graduations!

xo

Lex